One Down Fall....

Everyone has one thing that has somehow changed there life. For me it was loosing my dad to suicide about 9 years ago.

At the time I really thought everything was going to fall apart. The house we had was already on its last leg not to mention bills. It was rough, I really didn't no what was going to happen. After about 2 year we decided to sell the house in Bangor, where we lived then, and moved in with a guy my mom met. Don't take this the wrong way, everyone does, but he seemed to make my mom happy.

From then on we all moved to West Salem, where I attended 5th grade and up. I met some new friends and things kind of got back to normal. But it was still there, the hurt.

In 6th grade, it kind of hit me. Depression. I remember throwing these big temper tantrums, yelling, kicking, and screaming. Looking back I really regret all the things that I did. I have no clue how I am ever going to be able to apologize to my mom for the hurt I put her through. But I got help. Since then I've been on antidepressants. Depression has been a big part of my life. I suffer from it everyday, but that's for a later blog.

Things changed, my moms boyfriend changed, breaking my moms heart yet again. I was almost happy for her. I could see she was unhappy. That's when a friend of hers and I decided to introduce her to Mike, the friends brother. Wow, it worked, she actually smiled, like the stress was lifted. Everything changed, but for how long?

My family has really been through a lot. It takes a lot of time to get over something that big. Sure we were young, but it impacted us all in different ways. I had my own ways of dealing with the loss and it affects me to this day with the depression. Family plays a big part in my life, without them here by my side, I really don't no where I would be today.


*See next blog entry for a further look